Stupid Girls Are Ugly

by Colter

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Stupid Girls Are Ugly is profane, naked, grotesque, sophomoric, brilliant, arrogant, brash, irrational, overwrought, eloquent, American music. It does not give two flying fucks about your opinion, sensitivity to language, taste, or your feelings in general.

It was composed by the lyricist (or rather "liar") himself, Colter MF Raines. The sonofabitch is such an abhorrent control freak that only Lee Dyess can put up with him. As you might have guessed, Lee is the owner and operator of Earthsound Recording in Valdosta, GA, where he engineered, mixed, and mastered Stupid Girls Are Ugly in May 2017. Colter and his robots performed all of the glorious self-produced music contained herein, enlisting only the help of a trio of highly original, good-spirited and intelligent guest vocalists: Dusti Hall, Danielle Sutton, and Demeshia Whitaker.

Thanks are really due to only the aforementioned people and no one else. I mean, they are the reason this thing got made. What the fuck did you do? Right. Nothing. Shut up.

...however, in hopes of not coming across as too crass, thanks are always given to anyone that listens, and I sincerely cannot thank you, reading this, enough for listening to this music.

Stupid Girls Are Ugly is dedicated to Alec Seagrave, the sexiest man I've met. Seriously, if you like music then listen to anything this man makes.


released July 10, 2017



all rights reserved


Colter Valdosta, Georgia

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Track Name: Stupid Girls Are Ugly
I'm a romance crook with a busted smile
She's a captured rook and a risk worthwhile

It began with a look across the paperback aisle
I've never been one for books yet I'm a linguaphile
And because I use that word, that says something of my ego
I don't know what you've heard but I'm terrible with people

Well don't sweat, sugar, you're beautiful just the way you are
Though I'll admit, your papa should have told you, "Beauty only goes so far"

Push 'em up, pucker out
Suck it in, shut your mouth
Hold your breath, never tell
Lie about yourself
Fake a laugh, fake a scream
Face the crowd: look at me!
But if we're talking honestly...

She can stand in the light with a naked expression
With her hand in mine, she handed me rejection
Ooo, that cantankerous speech
She doesn't want to marry... me
How my knees got weak at her vocabulary

Well don't fret, baby, you're the one who's got me by the neck
But I'm not too delusional to say, "I know I'm fickle"
I'm an emotional wreck

Stupid girls are ugly
If you can't keep up, you're not good enough
My ego don't need to feed
Track Name: Soapbox Celebrity
We got signs in the picket line
You got yours
I got mine
Slogans and a chosen destination
Just another peaceful demonstration
With fists, firebombs, rubber bullets in the chamber
Tear gas, water cannons, what do you wager?
I got anger
I got reasons
And this is nothing more than the sowing season

Boy, you ain't afraid to stand up for a cause
But I think that you do it just for the applause
Girl, you ain't afraid to stand up for a cause
But I think that you do it just for the applause

I've seen your shitposts
I've read your memes
I know you told these hoes what and who they should believe
But there's a paradox within the points of view you preach
So let me cut you down from your superiority
If you're pro-life, but support the death penalty,
Or pro-choice, but the guns belong to the police,
You need to reevaluate the priorities
Emotional logic-- that's not an argument
It's a disease
Kill the pregnancy is any woman's right
But you kill a pregnant woman and they call it double homicide
We value life... 'til the things we hate refuse to die
Just toss your problems in the coffin
Hello, afterlife!

Social justice is a curious concept
If justice is truth, purity, everything that's good, and you qualify it with an adjective, you're rendering integrity, equality to be limited to said adjective.
It is inept and, ironically, injustice
And the right to disagree peacefully is ours, it is self-evident, cannot be limited to a document.
And if you think about it: if you take it away, then it's not a right to begin with but what you would have are just, in fact, a little list of lofty privileges

Oh, but nobody cares
Nobody listens
Everybody shares
We're so prepared for rhetorical warfare
And virtue signaling in politics will take you there

Ah Ha!
Soapbox celebrity, go on tell me what to believe
Soapbox celebrity, pontificating through your screen
Soapbox celebrity
From pacifist to fascist overnight it seems
Hey, hey... that may not make much sense
But it don't mean you must agree with it

If you tie yourself to the whipping post
Don't be surprise by the cat o nines
And if you tell yourself you believe in ghosts
Your past mistakes will rob you blind

I feel like the oldest man, drunk and smoking crack on the porch at dawn
Tellin' all the neighborhood children to get the fuck up off my lawn
Nine pieces to the puzzle and five of them are stacked inside your palm
Which one?!
You're tellin' all the neighborhood children the puzzle has been solved

Track Name: You Make Me Feel So Dumb
You could be such a beautiful person
But you choose to be one of the worst ones
That I've ever known
And I've reaped what I've sown
Oh, you you you you you
You make me feel so dumb

You told me you was my lady
Said you loved me and that you were "baby crazy" (unquote)
But you lied when you swore you said bye to that other guy
You spent the night and I came inside of you twice
Then told me.... (gibberish, excuses, lies)
Girl you make me feel so dumb
And I'm not the only one
Guess what?!
You're dumb... and I found another love
Track Name: Fuckboy (ft. Dusti, Danielle & Demeshia)
Nobody gives a shit about your dick issues
You cry baby bitch, buy a box of tissues
Life is a gift; oops, I guess it missed you
You’re just a fuckboy
The problem is you

Pretty little white boy, hard on the surface
Got your bruises, tattoos, and a sense of purpose
Ever since birth, you’ve tried to prove your worth
But you’re as earnest as a pursed earth—get it? Worthless.
Sure this hurts but not as much as the morn
You left your wife isolated to raise your newborn
“I’m sorry, Laurie, we’re not the same we were before.”
Nice story, Morty, but your kid’s life’s more important than yours

Forged from the fire pit of cowardice
You keep a wishlist of bitches that you’d like to stick
This machismo placebo’s a prerequisite
To the absence of action in the words you spit
If this has any bearing to the way you act
Or if you miss the tattered glamor of your checkered past
Check it— an alpha won’t compete because he crafts his own path
But when I hear you speak it’s, “wahh wahh”

So obsessive with your hustle
Rak yak yak yak
Chop him up like bok choy
Pound some flesh and flex your muscle
"Look how great I am!"

Nobody gives a shit about your dick issues
You cry baby bitch, buy a box of tissues
Life is a gift; oops, I guess it missed you
You’re just a fuckboy
The problem is you

A real man does what he needs to do
Before what he wants comes into view
Whether he’s 65 or 22
But this ain’t you
"Dat's stupid, dude!"

Hey, stupid! I'm talking to you!

Lose your cool, argue loud
Act the fool, draw a crowd
Raise your voice, claim your squad
Call your boys, oh my god
Draw your gun, say you’ll shoot
Dude, I’m shaking in my boots
Your feigned coercion lacks the grit
You pussy-ass antagonist

Never mind

Wannabe thug with a cuckold fetish
Treat your girl like a pet, instead of codependent
You’re only loyal to your dick and its need for wetness
Best you get erection drift corrected
Save your regrets for the next coquette
Run the gauntlet of promises you’ve never kept
See that’s a person, not some fucking object
And I refuse to give a dude like you respect

You stupid little fuckboy
You're possessive with your partners
(Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme)
Just another cocktoy
Just another dead-end, dead-ass, deadbeat father

Your brain don't work so you use your fists
White collar, white trash misogynist
You're a vapid and volatile son of a bitch
You make me sick, you stupid fucking boy